Nykopolio

Fuck you!

2012-02-11T23:57:00.000-08:00

Hombre al final de cuentas
Y uno que no vale la pena!
As you say: A la v3r&A!
Fuck yourself!

Ciao!

2012-02-04T23:42:00.000-08:00

Thank you. Because today you gave me a reason
to forgive you. A reason to understand that I am
the one who was not seeing things clearly. Thank you.
Because as today you helped me to understanf thatt
I need to do this..I need to
F O R G E T Y O U.

Love

2012-02-03T13:46:00.000-08:00

Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love anymore
that you don't feel anything at all. Tell me that you don't want to
be with me anymore. Tell me that you don't touch yourself while
thinking of me. Tell me, you don't miss me in your bed. tell me that
all this time you lied to me. Tell me.
If you do so I will walk away and will never come
back. I promise it because I LOVE YOU.

Volver

2012-02-03T10:26:00.000-08:00

"Tengo miedo del encuentro
con el pasado que vuelve
a enfrentarse con mi vida"

Estrella Morente.

be

2012-02-02T10:07:00.000-08:00

Be strong.!!!
Like a Mexican luchador!

happy

2012-01-29T19:13:00.000-08:00

Que porque soy feliz?
Entre muchas razones, porque disfruto mucho
lo bueno y malo que hago. Porque estoy vivo,
porque tengo la habilidad de ser yo, de darle poca
importancia a lo que otros dicen, porque defiendo mis
ideales. Porque amo, con ese amor kind of I can't live
without each other love. Porque soy amazing pero sobre
todo, porque soy libre.

=S

2012-01-28T23:52:00.000-08:00

Nice?
Nice my ass !

Oaxaca!

2012-01-25T23:05:00.000-08:00

This is one of the things that remembers me who I AM.
It makes me proud to be Mexican, but most importantly
to be from Oaxaca. This women has been present with me
in this journey full of pecados y milagros.
A Journey called America.

Lila Downs - Mezcalito (Auditorio Nacional 25-nov-11)

2012-01-25T23:03:00.000-08:00

Now that I remember this has been one of the things that remembers me who I AM,
Where I came from ;and the fantastic part of the world I was raised at.
I am Nicolas Cruz and I am Mexican,
but most important. I am OAXACAN.

Thanks Chef!

2012-01-24T22:21:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it is good to shut up
and listen to what other people have to say.
it's a good (and a nice ) way to learn.
Listen Nicolas!

Veinti sete!

2012-01-23T17:28:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up feeling different
I am twenty seven years old
I made it!

I am...

2012-01-21T23:57:00.000-08:00

...I am your future
(said it with an accent..a weird one)

Canta!

2012-01-20T13:13:00.000-08:00

Canto porque la vida me ha dado voz.
Canto, canto mis aciertos, mis fracasos.
canto porque tengo la habilidad de expresar
un poco de lo mucho que pasa dentro de mi.
Canto para divertirme, canto para expresar felicidad
tristezas, amor desamor. Canto, porque quiero,
porque puedo. canto, canto y aun asi no soy un
cantante.

Primera...

2012-01-19T15:56:00.000-08:00

Y como en toda funcion de teatro
la cortina roja espera anciosa a ser levantada
para develar las maravillas y decepciones que
los veinticiete tiene preparado para mi.
Porque mi vida es eso
Un grandioso
TEATRO

Primera llamada, primera.!

so?

2012-01-18T22:24:00.001-08:00

It is hard to believe that two weeks of the new year have gone by so fast; and yet I am still feeling like my year has not ended yet. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I usually star my year the day I celebrate my birth day. Which by the way is in five days. I am going to be twenty fucking seven years old. I should feel blessed because I have made it this far when there are many people who don't get this far. On the other hand, it feels weird. I little more pressure i guess since I am very hard on myself and I am starting to feel that it's time to decide things, time to start setting goals and looking for options for the future and for the present. I know I may still have some time left but that does not mean that I don't have to think about those things. Life, life, life. What a mousistic life. God bless me!

...ciao

2012-01-17T14:50:00.000-08:00

En que momento te cruzaste en mi camino. Fuiste tu o fui yo. No lo se, pero de alguna manera ya sucedio. Han pasado algunos anios y aun sigues apareciendo por ahi; de vez en diario. Me he acostumbrado a ti, a tu personalidad, a tu actitud, a tu olor. Estoy acostumbrado a echarte de menos aun cuando te tengo junto a mi. Ironico, tan cerca y tan lejos al mismo tiempo. Estoy acostrumbrado a la actitud que de un tiempo para aca tenes respecto a mi y a veces duele, poco o mucho ya no lo se; pero duele. No se por cuanto tiempo mas tendremos que vivir asi? Mucho, poco o siempre? No lo se ciertamente, pero se que YO algo estoy haciendo bien.
Me estoy separando poco a poco de ese capitulo y estoy empezando uno nuevo, Uno en el que aunsigues presente, pero no tenes un papel importante. Ahora solo eres un fantasma, un fantasma que sigue apareciendo y que quizas ahora esta tratando de buscarme. Ahora esta historia tiene nuevos ritmos, nuevas prioridades y nuevas personas. Y si, hay un nuevo protagonista. Alguien que quizas habia dejado de lado por darte a ti la prioridad. Hoy ese protagonista es alguien que como siempte brilla por ser quien es, alguien que crece dia a dia y que aspira a algo. Alguien que tu conoces y que yo conozco aun mejor. Alguien al que ahora tu buscas y que ya no esta a tu alcance. Alguien, simplemente .. I little Vato just like ME!

Work!

2012-01-15T00:10:00.000-08:00

I have a great job I have said many times. I love it and I enjoy it. During the seven years I have doing this I have found that I love it even more when it get busier, but I don't mean busy like busy, but crazy. I love it and the adrenaline makes me enjoy it more. I love the craziness of the people, servers, managers and the guests. I love when I have to do more than one thing at once, and yet make sure every thing it's done correctly. On top of it we have the faces of guests when they enjoy their meals. That is the best feeling ever. I believe there is no other thing that makes me feel this way besides art. And food is art. Love love love, and at the end of the night a good conversation and a good time after the craziness. A moment to laugh and to see everything from a different perspective; and once again we say it. We made it. Again! =)

+

2012-01-13T23:43:00.000-08:00

There is nothing better that being surrounded by positive people, energy and thoughts. Not worrying for the little things that are not on us (or me) or that do not concern us (or me, once again). On top of it, overlooking those things that make us (or make me ) angry makes life so much easier. Today I am giving some baby steps when it comes to that; and It feels good. I am amazed and I hope I can get it through for a while. Positive, positive...Me !

Practice!

2012-01-12T22:31:00.000-08:00

It has been said that in order to master a technique you need to practice, and practice, and practice. Today I had a challenge I did not have before. I was asked to prove my knife skills. So I thought to myself. Is that it? Easy. I took the challenge ad was very confident. Suddenly, I found myself in front of ten onions. I knew it was going to be ugly, and it certainly was. However, it was one of the most interesting experiences that took me back to basics...I cried, and cried and cried. I don't know if it was because the onions or because I was getting frustrated or both. However, while I was doing it I had this thought about the girl from the movie Like a Water for Chocolate: Tita...Why? I don't know...maybe because the entire movie deals with chopping, roasting and cooking.Cooking, cooking and cooking; I have done for almost seven years and the more i learn, the more I realize that I get better, yet it is not enough.

Multi!

2012-01-10T22:32:00.000-08:00

Someone told me once that as individual I need to re invent myself. That person also told me that it is always good to go back to basics. To re-visit some of the things we did in the past. Therefore, I decided to re-invent myself; and I went back to do the basic. I have taken a job in which now I have to be a multitask person at small restaurant. The experience has been a challenge since last time I had a job like this was around seven years ago and it marked the beginning of my career within the food industry and I was not sure where I was going to get at that time. Now I know I have a good place where I feel appreciated and this second choice has made me wonder how sometimes we forget some of the things we had done before we get to a better place. It was about time, I know it. I feel it. I enjoy it.
P.S. Thanks to that person which I actually do not remember who it is, but it certainly has influenced my life.

Franco De Vita

2012-01-09T19:56:00.000-08:00

"Porque entiendo que somos humanos y nadie tiene la verdad en sus manos"

"Que tu solo fuiste un sueno que jamas sera verdad"

"Lo siento soy asi de basico. Y mis instintos son bastante logicos"

"No se olvida. No se olvida por mas qie ponga a remojar tus huellas, no se quitan y eso no se olvida"

La Dolce Vita

2012-01-09T15:13:00.000-08:00

...Quizas deberia de determe en mi diario vivir mas seguido y analizar mi realidad. Deberia quizas tambien entender un poco mas el mundo en el que vivo y en el que obviamente hay muchas otras cosas mas que YO. Debo quizas entender que de alguna manera hay gente que me sigue inlfuyendo en mi vida. Sofia Villegas, Silvia Cruz, Gustavo Martinesz, Anna, Gustavo y Alejandro, (los tres Ramirez), l Maga Y tu son solo algunos. Quizas tambien gente mas importante como Pedro Almodovar, Tim Burton, Mika, Ansel Adams, Lila Downs y muchos mas.
Mi diario vivir deberia de ser mas eso: Vivir y menos Diario. Un poco mas intenso y arriesgado, un poco mas como YO. Mi diario vivir deberia de parecerce mas al diario vivir que quiero. No cuesta mucho, al final de cuentas ya tengo lo mas importante: El me vale que digan los demas. Me vale una vez y muchas mas. Me vale, me vale, me vale. got it?

Oaxacan!

2012-01-08T17:25:00.000-08:00

...And she said she loves my skin tone.

.....And she said she wants it.
.......And I thought; It's Mexican skin;
.........No. It's Oaxacan skin !
=IT IS PURE LOVE=

Amazing!

2012-01-06T14:16:00.000-08:00

I went for a run yesterday. I enjoyed it so much, and I realize that it is actually fun to go out and run while watching the beach and feel the sun and the wind. Maybe I need to do it more often. I wonder how it may look early in the morning. However, It is definitely one of those thing that make me realize how beautiful nature is. Love, love love....what a beautiful life. !

Perfect GPA.

2012-01-05T11:57:00.000-08:00

A + A + A + A + A + A = 4.0
(Not to brag about it but I am AMAZING )

One day of July...

2012-01-04T10:30:00.001-08:00

I certainly know that my mother passed away a while ago. I know the month and the day it happened, but I do not know the exact date. Why? Well, I don't know; and i wonder why?. Sometimes I believe that it is my way of not really getting into it or rejecting it. Whatever the reason has been for not doing so, today I am willing to go back and try to find the files that will remind me again how it happened and the most important answer: WHEN. It is going to be hard, but I think its time.

Tech!

2012-01-03T12:02:00.001-08:00

It is interesting that I don't have a phone yet I woke up this morning without internet; and I felt disconnected from the world. Weird ha? . So it makes me wonder If it is the way people feel when they do not have their phones. Are we so attached to these things that we actually depend on them. This is the world we live in; isn't it?

Dos me diste,,

2012-01-02T19:23:00.000-08:00

...Y para que
me diste pies
si ya sabias
que me iba a
TROPEZAR.

2012: My roots

2012-01-01T20:06:00.000-08:00

Hace ya mucho tiempo que no me aparezco por aqui. Lo se. Hace ya muchoooooo....tanto que creo que la ultima vez que lo hacia aun recordaba quien era. Hoy han pasado el tiempo y muchas cosas han pasado. Buenas malas y otras que aun no puedo definir. Hace un par de semanas se me ha cuestionado el porque de no saber espanol al nivel que deberia. Debo confesar que lo pense un par de veces y pues no pude encontrar una respuesta y honestamente no intente encontrarla. Sin emabargo encontre un video que me hizo darme cuenta de una cosa muy importante de lo cual puedo rescatar la siguiente frase:

"En un mundo donde te atrapa un poco la fastuosidad y los vestuarios de pronto queda un poco de lado tu fuerza de comunicar, de cantar o de conectar con los demas. Es hora de regresar, de regresar a las raices"

This is me now. Pero este era yo antes and I have changed and I will probably keep changing. It is in my nature and even when I've tried to finish this post in Spanish my thoughts keep coming to me in English. Good or bad; it is what it is. Pero lo mas interesante es que ahora tengo el poder de ambos y puedo combinarlos. Os guste o no...I am back!

P.S. Happy New Year!

Traveling !

2009-05-01T12:55:00.000-07:00

Estoy planeando un viaje al pasado,

en el cual entre otras cosas volvere a ver Todo sobre mi madre,

la primer pelicula que me dio una idea del cine y de Almodovar,

escuchar y sentir como la primera vez Pehaps, de Lila Downs,

y en donde tambien escribire mis memorias como usualmente lo hacia.

En este viaje tambien esta incluida una parada en la colonia de la sencilles,

en donde alguna vez me instale y de la que alguna vez me mude

porque llegue a otra urbe. Mi viajes aun no tiene fecha de pertida,

pero se que que es tiempo, porque como dice Chavela,

Uno siempre vuelve a aquelos lugares donde amo la vida,

porque despues de tanto tiempo

. . . . ( no encuentro el fin).

Who is it

2009-04-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

I read your last entry, and as usual
I am curious about what you wrote.
Even though you have mentioned it before, 
the words you wrote made me wonder who it is.
Since you wrote it by the first time I have been 
questioning myself. Who "El diablo" is?
By the way you describe it; it seems you love it 
so much. I read it and I felt jealous because
I wish I were "El diablo", but I am not.
Whoever "El diablo is", He is so lucky. 
I want to be "El elejido" can I?
P.S. I am Nyko.

I am one of Them!

2009-04-07T14:09:00.000-07:00

The Inv s bles

I have been dealing with many thing since I moved here,

and early today while I was doing my research for my final paper,

I found this picture that made me realize

what the main problem seems to be now that I am graduating

in two months.

1,2,3...

2009-03-05T23:42:00.000-08:00

"El dia que empece a contar,

la muerte me sorprendio"

"The day I started counting,

death came to my life"

So what !

2009-03-03T08:26:00.000-08:00

"With graduation

approaching, I will regret not

saying "Yes" to all the

experiences

I can jam-pack

into this time"

Scott Pearring. The daily Bruin

Y entonces?

2009-03-01T00:28:00.001-08:00

Te acuerdas de cuando decias que querias ser como Pedro Almodovar? De cuando decias que escribirias una historia con un personaje como tu madre interpretado por tu hermana? Que la relacion Anna - Nyko seria como Pedro - Penelope? Que decias que querias ganar un Oscar con una pelicula tuya?
!!! Y entonce Nicolas R Cruz!!

Will it?

2009-02-08T21:06:00.000-08:00

I've always thought that the day I start cooking at Maria's; it will be the end of the Maria's age.

I started last Sunday. so?

NkoAmI

2009-02-06T21:09:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been thinking about how I have changed.

Some people had told me that I talk, act,walk and think differently.

In fact I'm not the same one I was four years ago.

What is going on?

Who am I?

I almost forget it !

2009-02-03T21:02:00.000-08:00

Why did I ever stop doing it? I don't know, but I still like it.

Happy B-da to ME!

2009-01-23T09:19:00.001-08:00

2009-01-20T09:11:00.000-08:00

Mr. President

Barack Obama.

No!

2009-01-11T22:34:00.000-08:00

NO me conoces,

NO me entiendes,

!entonces NO me juzgues!

yes !

2009-01-10T14:10:00.000-08:00

Snow is one of the things I always wanted to see. This 2009 I did it and i really enjoyed it.

Made me!

2009-01-06T21:39:00.001-08:00

Dime que si que me quieres

dime que si que me amas.

Dale a mi vida la dicha

que tanto tiempo he buscado

no me apartes de tu lado

y make me FELIZ !

Welcome Back ! ! !

2009-01-01T00:05:00.001-08:00

I decided to end this period of time in which I have been experimenting different feelings: love, desire, envy, loneliness. In addition i lost the way i was going to, today i don't know where to go nor what to do. I've lost everything, I cleaned my room and take my clothes, cameras and everything else out to be sold. I've deleted my emails and my writing and I wonder if this is the beginning or the end. I've hear that usually people start doing so when they feel they have no time left. I don't know for sure if it is true or not , but I know I want it to be different, special. I need to be more ME and forget about what people expect me to be. I'm just the guy, I am not perfect and I don't pretend to be. I am a guy who falls in love with anybody, The boy who's got feelings, the person who wishes. The guy who can see the beauty, the pain and the one who wants to help to make this world better. I'm Nyko and I want to be respect for being nobody else but ME. Gay, straight or Bisexual, handsome, ugly, fat, slim, dark, white, happy sad or even sexy! It does not matter. Welcome to my blog and have fun ¡ ¡